Worry
by juliette729
Summary: Esme's Point of View - the first night after Bella and Edward arrived home from their honeymoon. Missing moment.


**AN: Ok, so I was in a desperate to write something mood. Plus, I'm kinda in a funk, so this is what I ended up with. Hope you enjoy. **

**This takes place the first night after Edward and Bella arrive home from their honeymoon, from Esem's point of view. **

**Worry**

I sighed as I sat down at my desk pulling a set of blue prints towards me. I flipped through the pages, wondering now if I would ever be able to present my newest daughter with her gift. I checked over my shoulder at the clock next to the bed. Carlisle, my husband would not be back home for another 8 or 10 hours, depended on what was going on at the hospital. This would be his last day to work for a while as he was asking for an extended leave of absence, stating that his son and new daughter-in-law were back early from their honeymoon, her sick with some rare disease and that he would need to focus his energies on his family for the time being.

I sighed once more as I pushed the blue prints away. Rare disease, that's what we were calling Bella's condition to the public, really it was an unknown, an anomaly. My newest daughter was pregnant. That in itself usually elicited joy in a family. However mine was divided on the topic. Bella, sweet, precious, fragile and human Bella wanted this child with a fierce determination that matched Rosalie's desire for a child and my grief over the one I had lost. I understood her need, so did my oldest daughter. However that did not diminish my concern. My husband and oldest son, Bella's husband, Edward considered this a health risk on her part, particularly afraid the outcome of the situation would take her life.

Usually as a vampire, I can sit or stand still for hours, days if needed and not move an inch and the posture would never bother me. However, tonight, I could do no such thing. I got up from my desk and paced across the floor. I was divided as well. I understood, could feel and remember the desire that Bella now carried. It only takes looking into her eyes for the briefest of seconds to realize she is not going to give up her position. It's the same look she had in her eyes the night she came and asked for us to vote on her humanity. She had her mind made up and that was the end of the story. It didn't matter to her the road, the destination is what she had chosen.

I know she is strong, physically and mentally for a human. I've seen her survive so much. But I was worried at whether or not she is going to survive this. There were too many unknowns and questions. For one, she could only be days, hardly weeks pregnant. Yet, I could clearly tell she was, especially once she removed her larger t-shirt and had on nothing but a pair of shorts and a tank top. The small bump was now clearly visible to those who knew her well. She said she could also already feel the baby moving and with our sensitive touch, I had as well when I placed my hand on her abdomen, right above hers. If my heart could have flipped, it would have when I felt the child move in her womb.

Neither I nor anyone else in our family could afford to lose her again. We all thought we had once, and it about cost us everything, especially Edward. She is sooooo convinced that what she is carrying is a child, her and Edward's child. I can't help but to believer her as a mother myself. I've felt it, she has. Edward refuses. I've barely seen her without one of her hands protectively in front of her abdomen since we met her and Edward at the airport.

Edward; my dear, smart, caring, over reacting, madly in love son. He's frantic. Jasper had to leave as soon as possible after the initial discussion was held, saying he could not handle the emotional atmosphere, mostly due to his brother. Edward wouldn't let Jasper help him either. He refused to feel anything other than the personal torture he has put upon himself over his wife's condition. Edward and Carlisle, united in their concern feel that they need to "take care" of the situation. Edward is deathly afraid that what Bella is carrying will kill her. That is not anything that will be able to be reasoned with. He's afraid that the only instincts it will have, will be monster side of our existence. I understand his fear, I know that he cannot live without Bella and if he does not have her, we don't have him. I would and have grieved over the loss of a child, but I don't think I could survive losing my mate. Even I can feel his fear as tangibly as if I was Jasper.

It seems as if the whole family is somewhere dealing with what has happened and what will take place over the next few weeks. When Edward and Bella left, they left to us all wishing a happy, newly married couple well. We were expecting them home in a few weeks, Bella tan, and both of them happy. I figured the night that they returned we would sit up and hear stories of the time spent swimming and hanging out on the exotic island that Carlisle had given me as a present for our 50th wedding anniversary. I did not expect us all to be handling our own joys or grief separately.

Earlier I could still hear the low murmur of Bella and Edward's voices as she tried to pursued him to her point and her to his. Eventually after what I'm sure was another episode of morning sickness in the middle of the night I heard her heart rate slow and now Edward's voice is lilting through the house as he softly hums the lullaby he had written for her. She does need her sleep. She looked exhausted mentally and physically.

Rose has positioned herself as guard, keeping watch on the third floor. Carlisle and I were going to be the ones to go and pick Edward and Bella up at the airport. However, in an odd turn of events Rosalie insisted on going as well, which meant that Emmett was coming and if the four of us were going, Alice insisted on going as well with Jasper following her. The last thing any of us, and I think especially Edward, expected upon arriving home was the reaction Bella had upon seeing Rosalie. She dropped Edward's hand and literally ran to her new sister. Rose and Bella have never been on great terms, and certainly not affectionate, like Bella and Alice. We were all stunned and then the hissing began and the murmured threats and accusations. Bella in a moment of fear for what her husband had planned for their child called the one person on the planet she knew who would protect that child, either out of jealousy or love. It didn't matter to Bella why Rosalie was doing what she was doing, I'm sure. We were all questioning Rose's motives. However, Rosalie was staying true to her word. She was watching every move Edward made like a hawk. It took Emmett, myself and Bella to convince Rose that it would be ok for them to spend the night alone in their room. Now Rose was walking the third floor hallway and Emmett was perched on the top step watching her.

Jasper had run from the emotional atmosphere as soon as he could, Alice following. I know they'll be home by morning, but both of them have their own pains to deal with. Jasper and his emotions, Alice and her visions or lack thereof. She panicked when all of a sudden Edward and Bella's future's disappeared. She searched and could not even find the cause. All she could get was a flicker of Edward leaning in to kiss Bella in one of the candle lit bedrooms of the house on the island and then everything would go dark. She called immediately and in the course of one conversation we realized what had happened. Alice couldn't understand why their futures were blank, it disturbed her. Of her siblings, Alice was closest to both Edward and Bella beyond her tie with her own husband. Those relationships were her closest. We figured Bella's destiny was closely tied to the child she carried, and for some reason Alice couldn't see it. And Edward's was closely tied with Bella's, making it all one big unknown. The darkness was a scary place for Alice. It's all she remembered of her human life, dark and blank.

I checked the clock again. A few hours still till Carlisle comes back home to us. I hear a movement upstairs, and then the sound of Bella being sick again. I closed my eyes and vaguely through a haze remembered the feeling. The pure joy at what I was carrying and enduring the trails of it as well.

"Esme." Edward's frantic voice is too low for Bella to hear, but I understand the tremor of concern in his voice. "Help."

I leave to go and take care of my newest daughter and try to calm the nerves of my dearest son.

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